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  • My 5000th Post

    I was hoping hoping such a monumental moment would be more "figgy", but it's the dead of winter here and I don't have much of anything practical to offer right at the moment.... sooooo.... I am very tentatively going to share this somewhat fig-related joke THAT I DID NOT WRITE!

    Help me, please!

    A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walks into a neighborhood pub

    The place is hopping with music and dancing but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked," May I please use the restroom?"

    The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."

    "Why not? " the nun asked.

    "Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and his most private part is covered only by a fig leaf. "

    "Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other way."

    So the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

    She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

    "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. "Would you like a drink?"

    "But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

    "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink, Sister ??"
    Last edited by TorontoJoe; 01-19-2020, 11:22 PM.
    Guildwood Village - Toronto, Canada - Zone 6

  • #2
    Hahhhhhaaaaaaa.... awesome
    Zone 8b. West Central Louisiana


    • #3
      Lol wow someone has a problem😀
      Actively seeking any and all varieties
      #Sharing is caring
      Courtenay, BC 🇨🇦 zone 8a


      • BC BYRON
        BC BYRON commented
        Editing a comment
        Denile is not just a river in Egypt

      • TorontoJoe
        TorontoJoe commented
        Editing a comment
        I'm not in denial. I am just very selective about the reality that I accept.

      • Otis
        Otis commented
        Editing a comment
        We all have our own little worlds from time to time. It's nice to take a short glimpse into someone else's once in a while

    • #4
      It seem like just a short time ago that people were giving Fabio a hard time when he reached an all-time high (for then) post count of 3000.

      I also seem to remember some photoshoped artwork posted as part of that thread....
      Texas (N. Houston area) - zone 8b
      Wish List: Rubado, Calderona, Cavaliere, GM-172, and GM-25


      • BC BYRON
        BC BYRON commented
        Editing a comment

      • 2AngelsMushrooms
        2AngelsMushrooms commented
        Editing a comment
        What happened to Fabio? Don't see him on here anymore.

    • #5
      TorontoJoe, That statue is real!!
      My husband shared a similar story about a restaurant that his family visited when he was a boy, located in Lake City, CO.
      Whenever somebody attempted to peek under the fig leaf (en route to the rest rooms) an alarm would sound!!
      Piney Point Village, Zone 8b


      • #6
        I resemble that remark.
        North Central Florida, Zone 9a.


        • #7
          My parent's house had a bathroom with a cabinet over the toilet. The cabinet door would quietly open. Closing the door made a loud squeak... loud enough to hear through the house. When they had a party a good one third of the guests opened the cabinet only to have a loud squeak when closing. Busted!
          Zone 9b
          S of Tampa Bay, FL


          • #8
            About 2 miles from me is a bar called Roger's Roost. It has a wooden Indian in the woman's bathroom. It has been there the last 30 years. When a woman lift's the loin cloth of the Indian red lights flash throughout the bar. It is pretty funny!


            • #9
              Does it seem like it? Great thing is, this forum inspires you!
              Wishlist Cravens Craven


              • #10
                Thats how Fig Adam became known as Fig Adam?

                you’d better Adam n Eve it!


                RHS rating H3 (USDA zone 9)
                Wish list: Gisotta Nero, Zaffiro, LSU Champagne, LSU Gold, Maryland Seedless, Smith, Yellow Long Neck